interLOAFERs: Battle Royale
by THE Xenomorph
Summary: In an attempt to distract themselves from the war a favored world is going through 10 omnipotent beings hold a contest of will, strength and combat. And utter insanity. Rating may increase in later chapters due to language.
1. Intro

**interLOAFERS: Battle Royale**

**By THE Xenomorph (aka Xenomorph666)**

**Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.**

**DigitalMan and K2** **are © My close friend.**

**Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.**

**Universe: **

_**Intro**_

The multi-verse.

To mortal eyes it would appear as a fractal pattern spreading out and repeating itself, silver lines dashed along the background of a non-existent background. To the beings that maintain the multi-verse it is far more complex. Time lines and spacial properties, dimensions and realities all existing with in a strand of a universal coil. We are such beings that maintain the balance. I am Mosious, Scion of Creation and oldest of all scions.

There are twelves of us, a thirteenth hidden in the souls of all scions can be called forth when we break our bounds. We rule in the balance of the universe and we maintain that balance above all else, but we are far from omnipotence and omniscience.

There is no ranking of our kind, but among the most respected is Astral, a former celestial hybrid with jet black wings. He reigns over order and health and is often stressed by his family life crossing into his work.

His opposite is the ever free spirited Perfection, a being once human and now sentient energy. Capable of taking an form it sits well that he commands chaos and the realms of charisma and air. None of us can stand his childish behavior for long, myself included (though I am told I am the most patient next to his friends).

Perfection's closest friend is that of DigitalMan (DM for short), a "hyper-evolved" human from a most bizarre world, he rules the existence of excess, fire and fortitude. He is often mostly associated with his friend's insanity and misadventures, few are able to tolerate them in unison. He is also the founder of the "interLOAFERs" a group mad up of himself and DM and Wraith.

DM's opposite comes in the form of Karma (a rough translation), an alien being with no solid form. She rules Balance as well as intelligence, and is often screaming at her opposite in rage. She is in a formal union with the Scion of Death.

Wraith, Scion of Death, Lord of the Earth and Willpower incarnate. He is as simple as his name applies, though he seldom takes joy from his duties. He is the third in the trio of DM and Perfection and no one can explain how he tolerates them.

Ragnis, Scion of Life and a former elven mercenary of a universe made by the Great Gygax is the almost mirror of Wraith. Where his opposite laments and often resigns himself to his duties Ragnis takes great joy in brining life into the world, if only to see it end. It is often said that should they switch the multi-verse would implode from confusion.

Some would call Ragnis evil, but that rule is in Atropos' domain. Yeas the very same, a former Greek god given the power to rule over the evil in mortal souls. For countless millenia she used it to maintain control over her sisters as well, but that has recently ended.

Her opposite, as well a former god, is known as Raptor. He rules over Righteousness and stands firm in his war with Atropos, one he knows he can never truly win. Raptor is truly the most enigmatic among us, never revealing his true face and concealing it under an ever changing mask that mimics true heroes of a world.

As there is good and evil there is light and dark, ruled by the twins Maven of the Pitch and Alteran of the Bright. Though often jocular with each other they seem to resent any outside attempts at mockery. We know not where they came from, only that it was a world of high fantasy and that they were once members of a much oppressed race.

Finally my opposite, Therten. Ruler of strength, water and null (sometimes explained to mortals as un-creation). Like myself he was a member of a race now with no name. We existed in a universe where time and space where condensed into material form, where energy was the form of life. His bitterness towards life born in time and space is immense and only matched by the other Scions.

The thirteenth of us was once locked away in the three most noble, and when released became a part of all of us. The thirteenth is Destiny, the chains of our servitude for only we have a destiny etched eternally into the universe. We are it's servants and it's stewards. Our home, the Verge of Existence, it's direct line to us where each plane it dedicated to one of the twelve and the center our meeting hall.

We are the Scions.


	2. Contest time!

**interLOAFERS: Battle Royale!**

**By THE Xenomorph (aka Xenomorph666)**

**Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.**

**DigitalMan and K2** **are © My close friend.**

**Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.**

**Universe: The Verge**

_**Contest time!**_

"I can't watch..." Prefection, Scion of Chaos groaned as he watched a large portal like image shine. "Someone hit me!"

A crack filled the air as the elven Scion of Life, Ragnis obliged his colleague. He looked about at the other gathered Scions who merely glowered at him. "What he asked for it!" Ragnis looked down at the semi-conscious scion. "Literally."

"Ragnis." Wraith, the green specter of the group spoke up. "Keep your hands to yourself."

"Or what?" Ragnis sneered at his Scionic opposite.

"Or else I keep _them_!" Wraith's voice echoed through the halls of the central hub of the Verge. Ragnis merely cringed away and hid behind another scion.

"Stop scarring the jerk ass Wraith." Astral said as Ragnis sat down with a grumble. Wraith merely glared, which was enough to make Astral cautiously move a few feet to his left.

"We need to blow something up." DM said in frustration as he watched the war in a distant universe, "I mean how can we just sit here and watch."

"Duty." Wraith said flatly.

"Concern for your friend's well being." Karma gave her opposite a glare that could kill, but as usual the hyperactive Scion that he was DM merely ignored it.

"We need a distraction." Maven sighed as he watched his own portal that showed his unconscious brother lying in his section the verge. "I know I could use one."

"Hey Maven..." Perfection seemingly crawled up from the floor. "Why you in human form?"

"Because it's comfortable." Maven said.

"It's cause you don't want Karma hugging your fur, isn't it?" Perfection giggled.

"A nice try, but not enough to distract me." Maven sighed.

"Oh..." Perfection sighed. "How about a contest."

"What between us?" Astral asked. "I think that would be bad very, very bad. Remember how your arguments usually end."

"Only when they're about the optimally superior mammalian species on earth." DM said with a devilish grin.

"No." Wraith smacked his friend with a newspaper materialized from nowhere. "Bad DM, BAD."

"Hah!" DM roared. "I have Counter-Attack equipped." DM shouted as he pulled out a bazooka and fired in his friend's face. When the smoke cleared from the immediate area he was astonished to find his body filled with daggers and other sharp objects. "Hm... Cannons are not optimal for close combat with Wraith. I remember that now." He then fell over as cartoon like "X's" filled in his eyes.

"Great you've encouraged him again..." Karma groaned, "Now he's gonna blow up his Verge and half of mine."

"No I'm not..." DM said as he appeared from a door that opened in the middle of nowhere and the proceeded to stuff his dead body into said door. "Besides, I'm still bored."

"See this is why I have an arena." Ragnis said.

"Your arena is a horrifying place!" Karma shrieked, "Not one fluffy or cute thing and not enough purple to go with the red paint."

"Paint?" Ragnis asked.

"That's not paint Karma." Wraith informed his wife.

"Then what is it?" Karma asked and then slowly it dawned on her. "OH YOU MEANIE!" She shouted as a safe fell on Ragnis' head.

Wraith chuckled as he watched Ragnis struggle with the heavy metal object. "Actually that gives me an idea..."

"What?" Perfection asked.

"A contest." Wraith's eyes formed their unique smile.

"I'm not writing up contracts." Astral sighed.

"No need." Wraith said. "We all know several universes in which heroes have loved ones they've lost or massive hurdles to overcome..."

"Yeah it happens." DM said.

"Why not offer a boon to someone who can prove themselves in combat." Wraith said. "We each choose a universe, the winner gets a single wish from the whole of us, no matter what impact it may have."

"Oh..." Perfection's eyes glowed with the joy of child who had just opened a Christmas present. "I like..."

"We'd need rules." Astral said. "No interference on our part."

"And a fair referee." Ragnis grunted.

"No DragonBall heroes!" Perfection said. "They got their own wish giving devices."

"I would offer a boon to those who could help my brother as well." Maven said, "Not direct interference, but something to aid them."

"No weapon restrictions." DM said.

"What are you fools yammering about." A shimmering entity with a vague outline entered the halls. Therten had arrived.

"Contest!" Perfection chirped. "Pick your group of combatants and we pit them in a contest, winner gets an approved boon from all of us."

"No lackeys or representatives!" Astral glared at the unrepentant Scion of Null. "Pass it on to Atropos please Wraith."

"Maybe." Wraith said and received a glare from Astral. "I said maybe, deal with it."

"And how long do you think she can be held there Wraith?" Thereten asked, his voice sounding like running water.

"As long as I decide." Wraith said.

"You mean as long as you focus on keeping her there." Therten smiled. "Don't worry, I don't miss her company."

"You wouldn't miss the company of your shadow." DM snorted.

"True." Therten said as a cloak and hood of blood formed around the Scion of Null. "But I am intrigued by this contest. Might we be able to partake?"

"No way." Ragnis snorted, "It's about fair combat and skill not universal power being rammed into some poor schlub's asshole."

"A Galactus level enema?" Perfection asked.

"Wow, did not need that image thanks." Astral groaned.

"Neither did I..." Therten said as he stepped away from Perfection.

"May I propose another rule?" Mosious asked as he came in. "Limited combatants from each world."

"Good idea, but lets make it better." Ragnis smiled. "Four combatants per scion period, from any combination of worlds."

"Oh..." Perfection seemed to enjoy that idea. "I can see the leader boards now!" He spread his arms in front of him like a movie director attempting to set a scene.

"Perfection can't announce." Astral said.

"Hey!" Perfection said with a pout.

"Or pass out food." Astral said with a growl. "I don't want half a universe with black teeth from prank gum and candy."

Perfection chuckled. "That was awesome."

"That was rude." Astral snapped.

"And awesome." Perfection chirped.

"It was awesome." DM said with a smile, "But for our purposes I agree..."

"Uncross the fingers DM." Astral sighed.

"Can't we..." DM smiled. "Just a little."

"Let them have their fun Astral or we'll be on the receiving end." Wraith grumbled.

"You know just a thought, but we better pull from the same universes, with no duplicate choices." Maven said. "A lottery first to give off the order in which we choose."

"Great idea." Perfection smiled.

"Karma should handle it." Maven added.

"Hey!" Perfection said.

"You cheat." Maven said flatly.

"Prove it." Perfection said.

"You wrote a guide book to cheating." Maven said as he held a copy up. "You lecture on cheating regularly and you TAUGHT ME."

"Ok you proved it." Perfection smiled. "Oh, do I have to keep Chybee home?"

"_**YES!**_" The room erupted as one at the thought of Perfection's adopted son running amok in the Verge.

"By the heavens, yes..." Ragnis shuddered.

"Great now you gave him flashbacks..." Wraith groaned.

"The pelvic region is not meant to be that close to the face..." Ragnis said as he slowly walked away.

"Chybee just loves him is all." Perfection said.

"Chybee is a goddamn nightmare." DM said. "And I like the little freak!"

* * *

**AN: Therten has been called The Scion of Uncreation mostly and like who was previously called energy I've found a better way of expressing his position as a Scion. You might see them reference changes as they evolve. Next chapter will list the combatants and the Tournament brackets.**


	3. And the winners are

**interLOAFERS: Battle Royale!**

**By THE Xenomorph (aka Xenomorph666)**

**Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.**

**DigitalMan and K2** **are © My close friend.**

**Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.**

**Universe: The Verge**

_**And the winners are...**_

"Okay..." Maven looked over the final list of everyone's chosen champions and fighters. "Perfection are you sure about this last one?"

"I was gonna put Mr. T, but then I realized he would destroy everyone and everything." Perfection smiled. "That and he was busy filming a new commercial."

Maven's face froze in confusion as he passed the papers to Astral who was merely smirking.

"So..." Astral looked at Wraith. "Only ten of us doing this."

"Looks like she didn't get the message." Wraith said flatly as he produced a coffee mug and sipped from it quietly.

"Right, at least Therten's agreeing to play by the rules here." Astral sighed.

"I am still in the room you know." The cloak that outlined Therten shifted slightly.

"Copycat." Wraith grumbled.

"Isn't there a saying about mimicry being a form of flattery." Therten snapped.

"Flattery doesn't work on him." Karma smiled. "In fact the last open flatterer was punched in the gut, shot in the foot and drug off by two men in black coats. I wonder what happened to him?"

"That wasn't the last ass kisser. That was the mafia movie we watched last night." Wraith sighed.

"Oh right, well same thing applies." Karma smiled.

"I thought Ambrose was the..." Therten looked to Astral "... how did you put it?"

"Airhead." Astral said flatly, "And he prefers Perfection." Astral said as he saw Perfection playing with a random blue butterfly. "Where does he get those things?"

"I wish I knew." DM said, "It's like how Wraith always has those drinks with umbrella's in them."

"I still can't figure that out." Perfection said as he snapped into the conversation.

"See they even ignore..." Therten looked around the find Wraith had vanished. "Where did he go?"

"Hey does that." DM said. "We think he took lessons from Batman."

"Sure he did." Therten snorted. "And I'm a..." He looked to Ragnis. "What's the name of the people who prance about in pink clothing?"

"Ballerina?" Ragnis asked.

"Yes that." Therten said.

"You need to stop trying to learn common sayings." Ragnis said. "It frightens the children."

"What childre..." Therten grumbled only to have hundreds of baby dolls appear around him and suddenly start crying. "I hate you all."

"Thanks for the lead in Ragnis." Perfection smiled.

"No problem." Ragnis smiled. "No one is taking my title of biggest asshole."

"Right..." Maven said with a roll of his eyes as he produced a vellum scroll and a quill and ink. "So in the preliminaries we have, Siegfried Schtauffen versus Yugi Moto and his alternate personality."

"Wow..." DM snickered. "I don't want to see how we're gonna clean anime character off the walls."

"Second... " Maven continued. "Allistair of Ferelden versus Sora the Keyblade Master..." Maven's jaw dropped.

"It's another version of Sora, relax Maven I know he's needed there." Astral said with a sigh.

"Then Kenpachi Zaraki versus Samus Aran." Maven blinked, "Should be interesting."

"I'm gonna need a new arena after that fight." Ragnis gulped.

"Continuing..." Maven dipped his quill in the ink and continued writing. "Spider-Man versus Ichigo Kurosaki."

"GO ICHIGO!" DM smiled manically.

"Chill." Astral said calmly.

"NEVER!" DM said as if had just proclaimed a war.

"Lelouch Lamperouge versus Captain Jack Sparrow." Maven blinked again. "How do we do that?"

"No mechs." DM said. "Sad, but necessary as Captain Jack in a mech is such a bad idea even Perfection knows not to let it happen."

"Unless I Senator Kelly is involved." Perfection smiled. "Or Cobra Commander."

"True." Astral said, then froze as he realized he had just agreed with his Scionic opposite. "I gotta stop hanging out there."

"Sesshomaru versus Mario Mario." Maven said followed by a quizzical look.

"Better known as Super Mario, Mav." DM said.

"Ah." Maven jotted something down in on the vellum. "Master Splinter versus Laharl."

"Did your wife choose the one from..." Maven was interrupted by a safe falling on his head. "I'll take that as a 'no'." Maven groaned as the safe vanished.

"Gotta love a wife who isn't afraid to stand up for herself." Wraith smiled as he reappeared behind Karma and gave her a hug.

Astral just stared at the Scion of Death.

"Your wife doesn't count, as she seems to be rage incarnate." Wraith said flatly.

"I'm half surprised she wasn't the Scion of Evil." Astral seemingly muttered in agreement.

"Moving on..." Maven said as he stared at the list. "Batman versus Ash Ketchum."

"Awww..." Perfection cooed. "Making choices like your brother would have."

"Followed by Gene versus Superman." Maven again looked confused.

"Gene from Godhand, not the space anime." Perfection pointed out.

"Of course..." Maven again jotted something down on the vellum. "Ohhh, Nightmare versus Guts."

"Ok." Ragnis sighed, "No one let Karma watch I don't think she understands the concept of brutal violence quite yet." Right then a sack of angry cats appeared and dumped it's contents into Ragnis' lap.

"I love my wife." Wraith gave his usual eye only smile.

"Right..." Maven tried to ignore his colleague's general insanity. "Starkiller versus The Doctor."

"Yes I am pulling him from the Spliced-Verse, it's safer to have him here." Astral said.

"Blokk versus..." Maven jumped back. "Stewie Griffin."

"Why'd you choose him?" Perfection asked.

"I don't know, I think I was drunk." Maven sighed. "But that should be an... interesting bout. Who's Blokk though?"

"A being composed of No-Matter." Therten chimed in, "A servant of the Beast Planet."

"I hate that thing." Perfection said as he rapped his fingers on the table.

"So do I." DM agreed as he rapped an opposing melody out on the table. Soon the two insane Scions were playing the table as if they were dueling banjos.

"Right..." Maven moved on ignoring the insanity to the best of his ability. "Next bout is Light Yagami versus Byakuya Kuchiki."

"Heh, that should be an easy win." Wraith snorted.

"Death Note ain't all the kid has going for him." DM countered, loosing interest in the dueling table rapping.

"Ban-kai." Wraith purposefully separated the pronunciation.

"Crap." DM said.

"Eggman versus Link." Maven said. "Which Link?"

"Moe said the one from Ocarina." Perfection clarified.

"Luffy D. Monkey Versus Vaan." Maven blinked again. "A Pirate versus a Sky Pirate. Interesting."

"Vaan, from Final Fantasy Twleve?" DM asked, "Who the hell chose him?"

"My daughter." Astral glared.

"Oh, that makes sense." DM said.

"Fox McCloud versus Worf." Maven snorted.

"What?" Perfection asked, "Sounds like a good match."

"Worf Effect." Maven snickered.

"I doubt that's going to take effect here." Ragnis said. "Besides this isn't a Smasher Fox, it's the one from the Star Fox games."

"True." Maven nodded the his jaw dropped. "Therten you asshole."

"I try." Therten sounded pleased.

"Who is it?" DM sighed.

"Sousuke Aizen versus Ominmon." Maven groaned.

"Well thats it..." DM said. "Game over man, game over."

"I thought you'd like it DigitalMan." Therten said with a pleased tone. "How do you like it Ambrose?" He looked to Perfection who was now loading a cannon with a small red imp. "Oh dear."

"Go get'em Chybee." Perfection grinned evilly.

"I think this is something Children's Services would deem inappropriate." Astral said.

"Do they have any nigh indestructible demon children?" Perfection asked as he lit the fuse and Therten started to walk away.

"No." Astral sighed and the cannon fired Chybee who merely passed through the Scion of Null. "The demon child is loose once more." Astral said flatly as he immediately formed a mask with spikes around the face and put it on.

"NO!" Ragnis shouted as he vanished.

"What are you so worried about?" Maven asked DM, "He actually behaves with you!" DM was currently making a fort from sandbags.

"Huh?" DM asked. "I was just bored, then he looked to Perfection and launched a bowl of tuna at his friend. "Panda!" He planted a flag in the center of the table with a panda bear in the center.

"Oh you know we're throwing down now..." Perfection said as he wiped the tuna off and fabricated his own flag with a monkey in a business suite. "MONKEY!" He fired a cannon filled with sausage at DM.

"This is normal..." Astral sobbed. "Sometimes I miss mortality."

"Heh..." Wraith smiled. "Wimp." Wraith was then suddenly pinned to the ground as Chybee grabbed his waist and cuddled him like a blanket.

"Hah!" Astral laughed, then Chybee noticed Astral and said something in his own odd language. "Perfection, what's that mean?" Astral asked.

"Something about hugging your leg." Perfection said as he launched a bowl of chili at DM. "MONKEY FOREVER!"

"Leg..." Astral paused. "Hug?" At that moment Astral felt Chybee's sharp claws dig into his leg. "PAIN!"

"I love this place." Karma laughed.


	4. Fudge Monkeys and invitations

**interLOAFERS: Battle Royale!**

**By THE Xenomorph (aka Xenomorph666)**

**Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.**

**DigitalMan and K2** **are © My close friend.**

**Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.**

**Universe: The Verge**

_**Fudge Monkeys and invitations**_

"We forgot Vader and Silverbolt." Astral said as he appeared in the Central Nexus to the Verge.

"Oh?" Karma merely looked bored as she sat at the central meeting table in her large fluffy purple chair.. "Well they wouldn't let me come along to invite everyone."

"Who?" Astral asked.

"My husband and his friends." Karma sighed.

"You let those three go by themselves?" Astral seemed to be simulating a heart attack.

"Well they need their time with each other too or else they're not the interLOAFERs." Karma said.

"But when they're together is when they're most destructive!" Astral shouted as a random section of DM's Verge exploded. "What the hell was that?"

"Sorry." DM appeared from an elevator door. "We bumped into Bill and Ted again."

"Well at least it was your section and not mine." Astral sighed.

"Mine?" DM looked worried. "Be right back..." DM vanished into the elevator.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Astral said with a flat expression.

"It could be worse." Karma said. "They could have run into another Doctor."

"That would be bad." Astral sighed. "Already getting an earful from the one I pulled out of the Spliced-Verse."

"Why him anyway?" Karma asked.

"Like I said, it's safer, besides knowing Perfection he'll be a permanent resident after the invasion." Astral said.

"Well as long as you're sure." Karma said with an unsure purse of her lips. "How's Ukiko?"

"Driving me insane as usual." Astral sighed. "Sometimes I think that woman likes to push the bounds of sanity just to drive me away for a few days." Astral fabricated as chair and sat at the table. "You and Wraith?"

"Waitng for the right time to thrash Ragnis. Again." Karma said. "Also enjoying this second round of pregnancy, I find the way the human body contorts and changes..."

"Ah... eh..." Astral grimaced. "Lets not talk about that stuff ok?"

"Well you're just a bore." Karma smiled. "Your kids doing ok?" Astral merely pulled out his pack of cigarettes, a sign he was about to go into a long winded speech. "That bad?"

Meanwhile the interLOAFERs, DM, Wraith and Perfection, were busy gathering their competitors that weren't currently in the Spliced-Verse or already in the Verge from previous "engagements". At the moment the had Nightmare, Siegfried Schtauffen, Sonic, Eggman, Mario and Sora. All from other universes similar to the ones helping out in the Spliced-Verse. Which Perfection was currently trying to explain to them. He was not succeeding.

"You know what." Wraith spoke up. "Take it like this, we're kidnapping you for our own entertainment but we're giving you a really damn good reward if you win."

"Then you're the bad guys?" Sora asked.

"We're the guys who can scramble your brains if you provoke us too much." Wraith grumbled.

"Ok." Sora gulped. "So why the middle of space?"

"That." Perfection pointed to the view screen of DM's spaceship. On the viewing screen was a large black orb that seemed to glide through space. Then he pushed a button on a strange cell phone like device he fabricated and with all the power of Shatner said, "Captain... we've located... the Beast Planet. Pre...pare to beam."

Seconds later a strange being was onboard the ship with the others screaming about being taken and how the Beast would avenge this audaciousness. Then he saw Perfection in his normal form of a glowing human shaped star and simply shut up and sat down.

"Next..." DM appeared and spun in his captain's seat. "Rhode Island!"

"YAY!" Perfection cheered. "Can we bring the whole family?"

"Sure." DM said as she ship suddenly hovered of the house of the Griffin Family. Soon they heard the distinct voice of Peter Griffin screaming.

"Aw..." Wraith smiled. "He remember us."

"Why is he screaming?" Perfection asked as he gave a sideways glance to his dead friend.

"He made me angry." Wraith said, Perfection merely flinched at the thought when a communication came through, it was of course Stewie Griffin.

"What the blazes do you idiots want?" Stewie asked.

"We're having an invitational combat tourney." DM said, "You're invited."

"By which I'll assume you mean..." Stewie was suddenly on board the ship. "Yes I should have assumed so..."

"We're brining the family too." Perfection grinned. "Can we snag Quagmire?"

"I don't know..." DM said. "He could be busy."

"Please?" Perfection gave a puppy dog look.

"Oh, ok." DM said as he hit a button and Quagmire appeared in the navigator's chair in his flight uniform.

"What the hey?!" Quagmire looked around.

"Crap." DM said as he hit the return button quickly.

"Think he's gonna realize he was moved?" Perfection asked.

"Oh yeah." DM smiled.

"You two are idiots." Stewie sighed.

"Yeah, but they're my idiots." Wraith laughed. "By the way that work on Brian II was magnificent."

"Thanks, I was rather proud of that one..." Stewie then realized Brian was standing next to him but didn't seem surprised.

"By now I wouldn't be surprised to learn you're the anti-christ." Brian said calmly. "You really think Quagmire will be ok?"

"He might be a bit paranoid from now on." Perfection smiled. "And more open to belief in UFOs."

8888888888888888

Back on the plane that Quagmire was returned to he was sitting in the pilot's seat with a confused look on his face, his co-pilot also looked confused. There was a moment of silence before the co-pilot spoke up.

"Where did you---" He was interrupted.

"DON'T KNOW." Quagmire said in a shrill voice. "We're not mentioning this ever."

88888888888888

"Cutaways..." DM smiled as the large space ship moved away from the house in Rhode Island. "Gotta love'em."

"And to think I thought only the fat-man could set those up." Stewie said. "Oh well I'll be in mess."

"Take a map." DM said as he tossed Stewie a large folded pieced of vellum.

"I sense stupid misadventures coming on." Stewie sighed.

"Why does this map say 'Road to the Mess Hall'?" Brian asked.

"Stop asking questions." DM said as a small floating robot with a camera began to follow them. "Camera Bots will make sure you don't get lost. And don't open door C-34."

"Right, now we're dead." Stewie sighed as he inhaled sharply. "Bravely into doom then?"

"Like we have a choice." Brian sighed.

"Can we get Vader next?" Perfection asked

"Ok, but you get to explain it to him." DM grumbled, "Always tries to Force Choke me..."


	5. Welcome to

**interLOAFERS: Battle Royale!**

**By THE Xenomorph (aka Xenomorph666)**

**Disclaimer: I own only Perfection and Wraith.**

**DigitalMan and K2** **are © My close friend.**

**Everything else is copyrighted to their correct owner.**

**Universe: The Verge**

_**Welcome to Battle-Marathon Fantastic Year one!**_

"I don't like the look of this place." Yugi Moto said as he and his friends Joey and Tristan walked into the arena with a large group of combatants.

"Move aside." A young angry looking man said as he pushed Yugi aside, a man clad in black and an odd mask followed closely behind him.

"This is insane!" Another young man in an almost western getup and odd arm brace said. "I mean don't get me wrong, I'm always up for a good fight, but that guy has a huge mecha!" He pointed to another young man with an odd glowing eye.

"At least it's not a book that kills." The young man glared at a nearby man with a smug look on his face.

"Where are these so called 'Scions'?" An alien looking man in a spandex uniform said.

"Hey, Mr. Forehead." A very dirty and drunk looking pirate wandered out into the crowd. "Best we not anger them, lest they deliver onto us a horrible mutilation the like we have never imagined, savy?"

A few feet from the pirate a man dressed head to toe in armor crafted with a blood red dragon on the metal sat. He looked around before finally sighing as he noticed a wolf/hawk hybrid sitting next to him.

"Is something bothering you friend?" The hybrid asked.

"No, pretty much realizing no matter what I do I'm a bona fide weirdness magnet." The warrior said.

Then an ear piercing screech filled the arena as the entire group of combatants looked to a balcony where ten figures stood. A few recognized only three of them and a few even backed away in shock at the appearance of at least one or two.

"Ok. Hi, welcome to our arena. I'm Perfection." The chaos bound scion said with a smile. "I'll be hosting the noddle and sushi stand outside as well as generally driving you insane." Perfection then noticed Captain Jack Sparrow raising his hand like a grade schooler. "Yes?"

"What if we're already there?" Jack asked.

"Then we'll get along famously." Perfection smiled as he blinked and turned Jack into a frog and then back into a human. The pirate didn't even flinch. "Yeah we'll get along great."

"Great, where's the rum then?" Jack smiled.

"After we welcome you." DM spoke up as he shooed Perfection away from the microphone. "Well first off we're gonna give you a day to get used to each other and then the bashing begins."

"What about the one with the book?" Lelouch Lampourge asked as he pointed to Light Yagami.

"We'll come to that when it's time." DM smiled. "Right now though we're going to read off tomorrow's four battles!"

"Only four?" Starkiller, Darth Vader's apprentice snapped. "We'll be here for days!"

"Yes." DM glared at the Sith. "Now siddown and shut up!" DM then pulled out a phone and read off the matches. "Yugi Moto and Alter ego versus Siegfried Schtauffen..." A board appeared with cartoon caricatures of the combatants on it.

"I will not fight a child!" Siegfried shouted.

"Dude, it's not to the death!" Perfection said as he appeared next to the knight. "Besides that kid has a nasty alter ego if you piss him off."

"Perfection why am I hear?" The Doctor, the tenth incarnation to be precise, asked as he walked past several combatants.

"Astral thinks is safer to keep you away from the heart stealing eldritch abominations." Perfection said as he waved to to let DM continue.

"Alistair versus Sora." DM said as a new panel appeared under the previous with the faces on them.

"Do you like pitting grown men against children?" Alistair shouted.

"Um, excuse me, but I fight some pretty nasty world ending things on a regular basis." Sora said from nearby.

"Oh and how do you think you'd fair against swarms of evil soulless beings that attack en masse and are led by a dragon?" Allistair asked.

"Done it, wasn't fun but I did it." Sora said with a flat face.

"He has." The Doctor said then realizing Sora was not where the Doctor has expected him to be began to open his mouth to ask something, but Perfection promptly cut him off.

"From another universe." Perfection smiled, the Doctor just threw his arms up in defeat as DM continued.

"Followed by Kenpachi Zarakai versus Samus Aran." Another panel dropped this one seemed to be made of metal as opposed to the previous ones being made of wood. "We'll be taking bets on this one."

"He a good fighter?" Kenpachi shouted as he pointed the armored fighter.

"Yes..." DM smiled. "**She** is."

"Oh..." Kenpachi smiled as he leered at Samus who didn't even move under her armor. "I'm looking forward to this, don't disappoint."

DM ignored the crazy shinigami and read on. "Finally we have Spider-Man verus Ichigo Kurosaki." The final slot rolled out from under the previous with the cartoon like faces stamped with angry eyebrows.

"Hey, I don't even have eyebrows on my mask!" Spider-Man said as he dropped from a nearby wall onto the ground below.

"All right then." Perfection appeared from nowhere and pushed DM away from the microphone. "We almost forgot to introduce the announcers!" Perfection stepped away as two humans stepped onto the balcony.

"This is sooo coo-ool!" A hyper energetic human in glasses and a novelty t-shirt said with a giggle.

"Calm down." His blond mustachioed and beret wearing partner said.

"Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, the Mythbusters!" DM said as he set off several sets of fireworks, much to the glee of Adam.

"Why do I have this sudden sense of doom?" The Doctor asked of no one.

"Perhaps you are sensitive to the Force." Darth Vader said from nearby.

"I'll take my opinions from the non-child killers thank you." The Doctor said as he purposely moved towards someone less evil.

"Well this is shaping up to be some great fun, huh?" Perfection smiled as he walked straight into Nightmare, The Azure Knight. Perfection immediately screamed before breaking off into four separate smaller Perfections and dashing off in different directions.

"Great..." Astral said from the balcony.

"I'll go get the net..." DM said.

"You don't have a net, all you have are weapons." Astral said.

"I do to!" DM said. "It's just rigged to explode on catching something." This statement cause Wraith to arch a confused eye towards DM, as if to ask if he were serious.

"I'll be at my home..." Astral sighed in defeat.

"A net that explodes?" Ragnis asked as he sucked in a fit of laughter.

"The Triplets gave me the idea." DM smiled. "Maybe this'll get their sister to see I am in fact the LEAST boring of the Scions!" DM said as a background of flames shot out immediately behind him.

"You have issues." Karma said as she walked back into the doorway they all came from.

"Go and socialize..." Wraith said as he took over DM's position at the microphone. "No fighting before scheduled matches, and Aizen if you so much as think of trying to topple us I will personally see to it that you won't make it through your matches." The crowd of combatants immediately focused on the tall shinigami, who had previously been ignored by almost everyone.

"What the hell is he doing here?!" Ichigo shouted.

"Calm yourself Kurosaki." Byakuya said in his usual monotone. "I have a feeling he is restrained."

"Like a mofo." A Mini-Perfection said as it appeared on Aizen's shoulder, it was dressed in completely exaggerated "gangsta" manner.

"Hm..." DM said as he eyed the Mini-Perfection. "Chibi-Whipper time!" At this the Mini-Perfection screeched like a hawk and ran off like a cartoon, leaving a large dust trail behind him.

"Hey get back here!" DM shouted as he materialized a Jo staff and chased after the mini-scion.

"Why does that never get old?" Wraith chuckled to himself as the confused combatants just stared in confusion.


End file.
